[Article originally posted on 11/2021: www.horizonascendant.com]
“Lizzie Borden took an axe, gave her mother 40 whacks.
― Lizzie Borden Nursery Rhyme (1893)
When she saw what she had done, she gave her father 41.”
Most of the nursery rhymes I grew up with sound innocent to the ear but actually refer to some pretty gruesome events hidden in the verses. Can you read between the lines here? (OK, granted, this one’s not so hidden…)
Yeah, this really happened – in fact, in the same general area where I grew up. On 4 August 1892, Andrew Borden and his wife, Abby, were found killed in their home. That house is now a B&B where you can pass the night in the very room where her step mother was hacked to death. Cool. Reservations are booked solid a year in advance. Anyway, the primary suspect, Andrew’s daughter Lizzie, was acquitted largely on the basis of her being a Sunday School Teacher. Makes sense. I ate at a restaurant near there – good food – where the menus are in the form of an axe. On Trip Advisor, one person highly recommended the Lizzie Borden Bloody Hatchet drink (didn’t try it myself – maybe next time).
My parents no longer live up in New England, having moved south to Florida where they’re referred to as snowbirds by the locals. (Are there any locals in Florida?) This time they set up shop in the general area of a biker bar where serial killer Aileen Wuornos worked her magic. She was portrayed in the movie Monster by Charlize Theron. Charlize got the Oscar for her performance and Aileen the Chair for hers. The bar subsequently became a highly rated stop on Trip Advisor. (Who said America wasn’t a land of opportunity?) In any event, I always try to get back to the U.S. so we can vote as a family. Well at the polling station, there was someone promoting Florida Governor Rick Scott and my mom does like to get into it with people:
- Mom: “While he was CEO, his company paid record fraud fines of $1.7 billion.”
- Scott Supporter: “He’s a good Christian man.”
- Mom: “He pleaded the Fifth 75 times in court.” (Thus refusing to incriminate himself.)
- Scott Supporter: “He’s a good Christian man.”
Right. Got it. Good arguments, btw. Good Christian Man. (Any relation to Lizzie?)
In what seems like a lifetime ago, I remember sitting around a table with a bunch of Egyptians (in Egypt, surprisingly) having a jolly old time. One man next to me began espousing the virtues of Islam and how it forbade certain practices like the drinking of alcohol. Now that is nothing exceptional and it’s certainly admirable to promote one’s religion. What I did find somewhat surprising though is that he was swilling a beer at the time. [I’ll devote an upcoming article to my excellent work adventure there…]
Well, because working in Egypt was considered a hardship post by the company I was working for at the time, they gave me a round-trip business class ticket back to the U.S. every 3 months – or anywhere else in the world for equivalent money. (Back to the U.S.? Seriously?!) So on one of those trips I was off to Singapore and New Zealand. In the former, I happened to arrive when this huge celebration was taking place: the Monkey God’s birthday! My response on hearing why all the festivities as a Good Christian Man? “Let’s celebrate! Pass me one of whatever it is you all are drinking over there…”
All in good fun. Hey, it’s currently the height of the vacation and Covid-19 seasons – a little levity is in order. Hopefully no one took offense here. They’ll be ample time for that in future articles. It is good to step away from the technical from time to time and chuckle though – even if it’s at ourselves. Strange can be ok…
“Strange things are afoot at the Circle-K.”
– Keanu Reeves, Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989)